Major Announcement #3 - this time for real!

Uncategorized Apr 07, 2020

Two weeks ago I wrote that I had a major announcement to make – at least major for me. I told you then about my first book PLAY NICE in Your Sandbox at Work. Last week I referred to book #2 PLAY NICE in Your Sandbox at Home. By the way, I’m not yelling when I put the PLAY and NICE in CAPS. Each is an acronym to help prevent conflict (PLAY) or resolve differences you will have with others (NICE). Since that first email, I’ve added another announcement that I hope you will find worthwhile. Announcement #1 is that my third book will be in bookstores on November 10 of this year. While I self-published the first two books, this one will be published by Morgan James Publishing. I often say this book has the dumbest title you have ever heard. As you will see in the attached picture, it’s called PLAY NICE in Your Sandbox at Church. Do we really need a book telling Christians they ought to get along and how to do that? I thought the Bible already gave us that...

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To your health

Uncategorized Mar 20, 2020

Charles Dickens famously wrote, “It was the best of times; it was the worst of times.” Am I the only one who thinks we are currently living in the craziest of times? Opinions on the current fiasco we face vary widely, and I am not about to enter that realm in this post.

What I do want to focus on are some steps we can all take to minimize the impact of the Corona Virus on us individually, no matter what others may or may not do. I decided to write about this in a post devoted to CPR – Conflict Prevention & Resolution, because challenging times can negatively impact relationships at work, at home and everywhere in between.

First off, please fight the urge to panic. While we surely must take this virus seriously and exercise due caution, it might help to remember that in 2010 60 million Americans got the Swine Flu, and most of us barely remember that “catastrophe.” Again, please err on the side of caution, but I hope to share better advice than...

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Two attributes we need more of

Uncategorized Feb 21, 2020

 

I often shock clients or audience members by telling them that they should not feel badly that they are not as intelligent as I am. I go to state that I do not know anyone who is as intelligent as I am, as good-looking as I am, or as humble as I am. In fact, I inform them, I am the most humble person I know. I am always relieved when that last line evokes laughter because it is entirely meant to be funny.

Humility is a wonderful if all-too-rare quality in our world. Think for a moment about people you admire, people with whom you enjoy spending time. Chances are they have this attribute in no small measure.

Humility can go a long way toward preventing or resolving conflict. There’s an old expression “if you mess up, fess up and move on.” People with humility are able to admit when they are wrong and not try to cover up their misdeeds to save face. They are more likely to make comments such as “I was wrong, please forgive me,” or “it...

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Be disruptive to manage conflict?

Uncategorized Jan 16, 2020

As a child, I was occasionally described as being disruptive. As I recall, this was seldom used in a positive or complementary fashion. I think I was just ahead of my time because today, it has become fashionable in some circles to be disruptive.

Please don’t get me wrong. I do not mean to recommend you should go out of your way to create havoc in other people’s lives or your own, for that matter. I do suggest, however, that when you find yourself in a dispute with someone, you may want to look for ways to disrupt the process.

For example, you might be in the midst of a difficult situation with your teenage son or daughter. You could abruptly say something like, “I’m all of a sudden in the mood for an ice cream cone. How about we drive over and get one and talk about this in the car?” Or, perhaps, you could say to a co-worker “hold on, this isn’t getting us anywhere. How about we go for a walk and talk about it along the way?”

Please...

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Failed New Year's Resolutions? Not with these 3 tips

Uncategorized Dec 30, 2019

In my workshops, I often lead participants in exercises designed to show certain similarities they all share. Surely we are all distinct, unique individuals, but the truth is that in spite of our differences are also alike in so many ways. For example, raise your hand if you have ever made a New Year’s resolution. Now, keep your hand raised if you have kept every resolution you have ever made. Those of you with your hand still raised are worthy of my utmost respect, or perhaps a referral to Liars Anonymous. And what are you doing raising your hand while reading a blog post anyway?

Ok, enough with the Ron-foolery, let me get to the main topic for this post. There are two times each year when you are likely to pause to examine your life and consider areas that might need some improvement. (Actually, if you read my last post you now realize you have five such opportunities to work with each year.) The first is on your birthday when the calendar reminds you that you have aged...

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Here we go again? Not this year!

Uncategorized Dec 23, 2019

Another new year is about to come upon us. A time when local gyms will be filled to capacity – at least for a few weeks. A time when many will go on a diet, again at least for a few weeks. Failed new year’s resolutions are so commonplace as to almost be comical.

While I am certainly not the master resolution keeper, I do have some thoughts to share that I hope you will find valuable.

For starters, make sure the resolution or change is something you desire, not something others may wish for you. You might know that it only takes one psychologist to change a light bulb – but the light bulb has to really want to change . Simon Sinek would encourage you to “Know Your Why.” If you are about to embark in a new direction, you must have a firm understanding of why it matters to you. What will you gain from the change? Knowing this will help get you through the down times when your motivation is low. If your resolution does not truly move you, if you do not...

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